.prEtEnd yOU dOn'T cArE.

MaTT (via eyevandrago) Shot on Ilford PanF 50 B&W...

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:23:29 -0800

MaTT (via eyevandrago) Shot on Ilford PanF 50 B&W 35 mm Film. Developed the roll in my bathroom. Scanned the negative then touched up and tweaked in Photoshop to try to match the print I made old school style. Lighting is open shade.

I took some pictures of my Grandma for a photo class project....

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:11:00 -0800

I took some pictures of my Grandma for a photo class project. This was shot on Ilford Pan F 50 35mm film. I processed the film in my bathroom, then made a print on a 8x10 B&W Fiber Based paper. This image is from the negative scan that I then tried to make match the print in Photoshop.

A portrait of my friend Matt at the piano. Shot on Kodak TMax...

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 05:31:39 -0800

A portrait of my friend Matt at the piano. Shot on Kodak TMax 400 35mm film. I developed the roll with Kodak D-76 in my bathroom. I printed it on 11x14 Ilford Multigrade Fiber Based paper. This is a scan of the negative that I tried to make match the print in Photoshop.

Frog or toad found in Pepsi can, FDA says - CNN.com

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:02:44 -0700

Frog or toad found in Pepsi can, FDA says - CNN.com:

Pepsi: Gotta have it!

We must rid our society of the threat of duck molestors.

Tue, 19 May 2009 11:27:35 -0700

We must rid our society of the threat of duck molestors.

The Job's I've Held

Thu, 14 May 2009 15:54:00 -0700

Inspired by an email exchange with friends I decided to compile a list of every job I’ve held since I was 15 years old in chronological order. I included everything I could remember regardless of the time I spent doing it. I also included internships. The question now is should this list take the place of my current professional resume.

Parking Coordinator (Christian Community Theater)
Record Store Salesman (Sam Goodies)
Theater Teacher (Christian Youth Theater)
Summer Camp Counselor (Christian Youth Theater)
Lighting Designer (Christian Community Theater)
Vending Machine Stocker (Can Vend)
Pedicab Driver (Independent Contractor)
Lemonade Pumper/Salesman (Hot Dog On A Stick)
Bookseller (Barnes & Noble)
Announcer/Performer (Sea World of San Diego)
Restaurant Delivery Driver (BJ’s)
Actor/Tap Dancer (Moonlight Amphitheater, Lambs Players)
Guitar Player (BNB Allstars, 1 wedding, Jenn Grinels’ cabaret showcase)
Waiter (BJ’s, Wood Ranch BBQ & Grill)
Tutor (Some rich family in Beverly Hills)
Entertainment News Intern (KTLA)
Film Production Company Intern (Laura Ziskin Productions)
Television Network Intern (Comedy Central)
Talent Agency Intern (United Talent Agency)
Summer Camp Counselor (UCLA)
Women’s Shoe Salesman (Nordstrom)
Talent Agent Assistant (United Talent Agency)
Barista (Peet’s Coffee & Tea)
File Clerk (The Westin Hotel, San Diego)
Expense Report Data Entry Clerk (Petco)
Squash Club Attendant (San Diego Squash)
Deli Cashier (Brother’s Deli)
English Teacher (Proulex)
Translator (Guadalajara Film Festival)
Development Executive Assistant (ABC Studios)
Development Executive (LMNO Productions)
Freelance Writer (Mediabistro.com)

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Wed, 13 May 2009 15:09:25 -0700

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/:

Good for a laugh.

So. Awesome.

Tue, 12 May 2009 13:22:03 -0700

So. Awesome.

via www.blingrevolution.net

Wed, 06 May 2009 17:44:07 -0700

via www.blingrevolution.net

No gifts for Christmas?? That’ll teach him a lesson! (via...

Wed, 06 May 2009 10:47:32 -0700

No gifts for Christmas?? That’ll teach him a lesson!

(via nothingyetttt)

Cover your Toodles everyone!

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:36:15 -0700

Cover your Toodles everyone!

El Macho Borracho Returns!!

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 00:45:11 -0700

El Macho Borracho Returns!!

Phone Calls - A Short Story by Me

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 09:57:41 -0700

Mary Lou stayed up most nights talking on the phone until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. She talked about what had happened to her during the day, about sermons her pastor gave, and she reminisced about her dead mother. She had a loud, shrill voice that carried through her apartment walls as if they were then cotton sheets. The neighbors that shared walls with Mary Lou were used to being woken up late at night when she was arguing with someone or cackling at something she found funny. I once overheard a conversation she had with one of the other neighbors in the building.

Janice was a young single hipster girl who worked in the accounts payable department at an independent record label. She always had someone in her apartment laughing or playing Nintendo Wii. The smell of marijuana seeped daily out of her front door and into the common hallway. Mary Lou knocked on Janice’s door wearing a white knitted sweater splattered with food stains, faded pink sweatpants, and black sneakers with Velcro straps instead of laces. Janice opened the door with skeptical eyes.

“Hello.” Mary Lou screeched. “I’m Mary Lou, your neighbor.” Mary Lou had the habit of elongating the first syllable of a word and shortening the last. Neighbor became naaaaaaaybr. Her vowels were thin and they rattled around in her nasal passages before finally finding their way out of her mouth.
“Yeah I know. What’s up?” Janice responded.
Mary Lou shifted her weight back and forth between her feet and fiddled with a yellow post it as she made her request.
“Well, my garbage disposal is broooooken, and the phone at my house isn’t working. Would you let me use your phone to call the landlord?”
Janice had two guys over. They snickered in the background.
“You don’t have a cell phone?”
“No.” Mary Lou answered. “My mother said cell phones give you caaaaaancer.”
Janice sighed deeply.
“Here.” She thrust her Blackberry at Mary Lou. “Don’t use all my minutes.”
Mary Lou stood in the hall as she dialed the number that was scrawled in pen on the note she was holding. She left a message for the landlord describing in painful detail how the garbage disposal broke down. That night at 2:00 AM Mary Lou was on the phone in her apartment repeating the entire incident to a friend. Somehow an event that took place over three minutes was enough material for a thirty minute story.

When Mary Lou died she was fifty nine years old. In the weeks after her death, her neighbors gossiped about her in the hallways of the apartment building, the parking garage, and the laundry room. She had been in the same one bedroom apartment since she born. She had lived there with her mother, who had passed away only three years before her. The two women had shared a full size bed since Mary Lou was big enough to not sleep in a crib. She never got married, never had kids.
A week after she died there was a technician for the phone company outside Mary Lou’s apartment. Our eyes met, and I tried to make a joke.
“You guys lost one of your best customers.”
“Sorry?” He was confused.
“The woman who lived here. She talked on the phone every night for hours. Her bills must have been huge.”
“Not in this apartment, buddy.” He shot back. “There hasn’t been phone service in this unit for almost three years. They sent me out to check all the wiring, make sure it still works.”

He hefted a large spool of cable onto his shoulder and walked away. The door to the now vacant apartment was open. On the floor among stacks of boxes and piles of old clothes was a small rag doll. It lay on its back surrounded by once treasured possessions. The doll’s red yarn hair fell haphazardly on the worn blue carpet. Its button eyes, long ago picked off by young hands, stared without emotion at the ceiling.

Photo

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:40:09 -0700

THE URBAN ADVENTURES OF JER & PEPE VOLUME 1: THE 150 MPH...

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:21:00 -0700

THE URBAN ADVENTURES OF JER & PEPE VOLUME 1: THE 150 MPH BIKE COMMUTE

I ride 9 miles each way on my bike 2-3 days a week to work. Check out the video I made of my ride home on my flip video using the flip action mount. It’s low quality because it had to be compressed for upload. It’s a 45 minute video that I sped up to be just under 6 minutes. On my way home I witnessed a car accident, I performed a Chinese fire drill, I raced another cyclist, and I danced. I had an average speed of 15 mph and I sped it up to 10 times its speed so it’s as if I’m riding 150 mph on my bike! Enjoy.

Isn’t it beautiful? I think I’m going to name him...

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:44:46 -0700

Isn’t it beautiful? I think I’m going to name him Pepe.

Screw You MTA Bus Driver!!

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:23:12 -0700

I’m really excited about my bike right now so pardon the self indulgent post that nobody is going to care about (not that anyone cares about any of my posts). I just got my bike out of the shop where they replaced the brakes, changed all the cables and housings, switched the old suspension fork for a rigid one, trued the wheels, and gave ‘er a tuneup. All in it cost me $195. That’s almost twice what I paid for it last May when I bought it off some pot head’s angry girlfriend in Eagle Rock. The bike now runs great and hopefully I’ll be able to get many more years out of it.

So I commute 9 miles each way to work 2 or 3 times a week. I’d like to do it more but I’m often prevented by laziness or a sore taint. Here’s my route, as if I could make this post any less interesting (the start location is approximated so as to not give away my home address. I love you Citlalli :-).

Anyways, as you can see the last bit of the trip is on Ventura Blvd. At the time I’m coming in there are anti-gridlock laws in effect so there is no street parking on the Blvd. This turns Ventura into a 3-lane almost-highway with stop lights. It’s terrible for biking, but I don’t see an alternative. If you come up with a good one I’ll give you a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints. So this morning I was cruising along in the far right lane as close to the sidewalk as I could without hitting my pedal on the curve when a Metro Bus 750 approached me from behind. Usually the buses just pass me, but this driver got right behind me and started honking. There isn’t much I can do in this situation so I just kept on pedaling. The driver kept honking, then when traffic to his left allowed he swerved around me. I caught up with the bus when it stopped at Sepulveda and I pulled alongside the driver’s window. Our conversation went something like this:

ME: Were you honking at me?
BUS DRIVER: Yes, you were going to slow.
ME: Too slow? I’m on a bike. What do you want me to do?
BUS DRIVER: You should go on the sidewalk.
ME: It’s illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk. I’d get a ticket.
BUS DRIVER: Well, you should use the sidewalk. You’re going to slow.
ME: No, YOU should share the road. We gotta share the road brother!

At this point I pounded my chest with my closed fist twice then gave him a peace sign, and rode away. I’m not quite sure what motivated this ghettofied gesture. I think I was momentarily overcome by a “fight the power” sentiment, and I believed I was representing a noble cause in the name of suppressed cyclists everywhere. Suddenly I remembered all those annoying soap-box blogs I’ve read run by self-important cycling activists and I was disappointed in myself for acting like them. I put my headphones back in and finished my commute in shame.

My friends and I have a past time that has joyfully consumed...

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 23:43:13 -0700

My friends and I have a past time that has joyfully consumed many a Friday nights. We pick a theme, then we find the most deliciously cheesy 80’s movies that fall within that theme. We get a ton of beer and we watch 2 or 3 movies in a night while getting hammered. One of our all time favorites was Bike Night when we enjoyed Rad (oh Lori Laughlin you’re soo hot!) and American Flyers. Both movies are great, but American Flyers set itself apart from the pack and has established itself in the pantheon of truly incredible 80’s movies.

My friend Eric put together this tribute to the film. It showcases some of the best scenes and lines from a movie with a ton of great scenes and lines. It really is the perfect example of the golden era of cinema that was the 1980’s.

Saturday night I went up with a big group of friends to...

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:35:57 -0700

Saturday night I went up with a big group of friends to celebrate my birthday. I had a great time. We had dinner at Mo’s, a hamburger joint in Toluca Lake, then went to 2 bars: Lucy’s 51 and Timmy Nolan’s. Lucy’s 51 was alright. Timmy Nolan’s was awesome. We got there just in time to see the bagpipers (above).

Urban Dictionary: Social Notworking

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:57:16 -0700

Urban Dictionary: Social Notworking

The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working. Joe - Hey, Mark is constantly updating his Facebook status, does he not have any work to do?

John - His company obviously doesnt realise how much Social Notworking he is doing!